We must make an effort to identify what choices we do have and make changes in our environment that can increase our sense of safety and comfort while in a physical space. In order to be pro-active in creating Healthy Boundaries, we need to assess the physical safety of our environment and assess the emotional safety of our environment. And realize it may be necessary to remove people or situations from your life who are entrenched in extremely destructive or harmful behaviors in order to make these necessary changes to our life style.
When we are more competent in Emotional Self-Regulation our inner safety is enhanced so that more Trust can be formed and we discover that we really do have the resources inside of us for feeling more comfort and feeling safe. Now, sometimes we're going to need to maintain Healthy Boundaries in order to feel more safe and centred especially when in a group situation or difficult family situations. It could be any kind of situation. Healthy Boundaries is a must.
So, think about how you're feeling when you're around a person who drains you, pushes your buttons maybe consciously or unconsciously to upset you, someone with whom you feel you may easily lose your centre maybe lose your Impulse Control. Sometimes this happens when people are controlling, they're pushy, they're manipulating or they're demanding of our time and energy. How does this feel in your body? How does it feel in your mind? How does the presence of this particular person actually affect you?
Registering Feelings in Our Body
Now, as you're registering the feelings and sensations that you've made imagine your body's like a car with a dashboard with warning lights and you've just identified there's a check engine light on your personal boundary system. It's a security system warning you that "hey, your personal energy field's being breached and you're letting in negativity, you're letting in fear, maybe you're letting in stuff that really isn't yours". This is very important. When our boundaries are weak, when we're exhausted, when we're emotionally triggered, when we're unclear and confused we let in all sorts of debris that isn't actually our debris and we give away our own personal energy unconsciously. Many times people that are emotional vampires will cord to us too in order to actually drain the energy so this is essentially an emotional vampire relationship that's created from imbalanced energy exchanges made between the parties involved.
Now, this sensation of feeling drained and depleted may mean that one is dealing with a breach of energetic security and a leak of our own personal energy that is feeding into someone or something else. When you detect this kind of energy vampirism you should be looking a warning signs indicating that some inner work needs to be done. Some cords may need to be cut. Some boundaries may need to be shored up and one maybe needs to take steps to return back in one's spiritual centre. This of course is the main purpose of our 12D Shield to help maintain personal energies and personal boundaries especially when facing a person or environment that is dominating or controlling or an emotional vampire. This is an act of our own personal responsibility to maintain healthy boundaries and to exert our right to have them even when narcissists may tell you otherwise.
Grounding or Centering System
Additionally grounding oneself is similar as the way a tree is sinking her roots deeply in the earth to stay secure in a storm. This is also a tool in creating healthy boundaries - finding the inner stillness is what allows peace to nurture the inner connection within ourselves finding our centre and spiritual core. So, our grounding root system is both our anchor and supports the maintenance of a strong boundary system. It keeps us from being blown about in other people's winds.
We must learn to better compassionately witness other people's emotional dramas and pain without allowing their pain and chaos to impact our own energies or direction. Learning to identify escalating emotional dramas in narcissistic behaviour gives us a way to disengage from the external chaos from allowing it to impact us. When we are inwardly focused and we become still within in order to connect with our heart and feel into our deeper intuition. This is the process that keeps one steady, inner connected and focused.
So, finding the inner core to ground when self has strong boundaries can happen in many ways. Here in our community we suggest acclimating to the ES Core Triad as a dedicated daily practise but there are some other ideas maybe saying a Prayer and setting positive intentions every day, offering your blessings over you morning meal or dinner and repeating positive affirmations in your head as you go through your day. Try different ways and find the tool that works for you. Again, one of my favourites is always I am God, I am Sovereign, I am Free.
Take notice of people and places that tend to drain you. Find neutrality in that situation by intending to connect with the inner Compassionate Witness. Just observe without judgement or reaction. Do not engage yet set appropriate boundaries. Before entering those places or exposing yourself to people whom you have a draining or vampiric sensation take a few minutes to fortify yourself and amplify your personal shield. Think of it as your inner energy space that will only allow love and positivity within it deflecting anything else.
Focus on the Spirits of Christ as being inside your 12D Shield and this personal space protecting you and guiding you through your path in the day. See it and feel it as the force around you. Then recognize what action or non-action is required in order to responsibly maintain that peaceful inner space with healthy and appropriate boundaries.